Today, today I need balloons

Today I need balloons.

Leticia, my dear friend from Sau Paulo, Brazil loves balloons. She could turn a musty garage into the Taj Mahal with balloons. My kids were treated to some pretty spectacular balloon-arrangements in 2010-11, above is a photo of little Laila's third birthday party.  

It's no one's birthday today. Today it is a dark, dreary, cool and rainy day in Vermont. Early spring in the Northeast actually has its very own sub-season, we not-so-affectionately refer to it is "mud season". And specifically, if you are a resident of Addison County, as I am, and have clay soil, you also know that this means you will likely be called to rescue a child or two's boot from the icky sticky gluey substance, at some point, maybe even your own. 

Today, I would have liked for the sun to beat warmer, the ground to be drier, and the clouds above fewer. Mother Nature does not always cooperate with our preferences I have noticed. And the world does not stand still and give you time to get your bearings, grieve a loss or devise a witty comeback. 

It has been three years since I delivered our son Jason sleeping, ten months since I started this business, and four months of dealing with bull and being in the proverbial center of the eye among the on-line babywearing community.

I hope the man at the dollar store in Middlebury doesn't ask me why I want this bouquet of balloons, but if he does, I will tell him with pride.

They are to celebrate the legacy of my son Jason in heaven. Each of the seven members of my family will release one to the sky, with a message, a prayer, and a hope, that we will see him again someday.

Time ticks on, deadlines approach, bills arrive, laundry piles up, puddles fill, memories fade, hearts heal, tears dry, and a little ginger haired boy asks to go up.

And I smile. And I wonder what color balloons I will pick, and which wrap he will choose...


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